Ask the Blogger - Part 2

I’m back for Part 2 of Meet the Blogger. I actually changed this title to Ask the Blogger, because these questions - centered around my work as a writer, mental health advocate, and travel planner, were more informational questions than personal questions about me, save the questions about my novel. I’ve organized them by topic, because that’s how I roll.

Writing

I read your novel Johanna’s Secret and really enjoyed it?  Can you recommend other books that are similar that I would enjoy.   

As for books, I am a big fan of both Lucinda Riley and Kate Morton in terms of how they use themes that weave the past and present, and they tend to be mystery-like - someone in the present trying to discover something about their past/the past of a place, similar to Johanna’s Secret. 

Are you working on a new novel or a sequel to your first one?

Excellent question. I’d like to. My novel wasn’t something planned out and brainstormed. The opening line came to me one morning as I woke up. I journal/write each morning, so that morning, I wrote down that line that had popped into my head, and just ran with it.  Each day, or most days, I continued. I didn’t plot it out or anything. I wrote as it came to me, and one day, I wrote a final line and knew it was the end. So yes, I’d like to write another, and, as cliche as it sounds, I’m basically waiting for inspiration to strike. I feel like I’ll recognize it when it’s done, but if I try to force it, it won’t feel natural to me or sound natural to the reader. 

Your novel Johanna’s Secret was published through Book Baby, which is a self-publishing company.  As someone who has  been through the process of self-publication how do you feel about your experiences taking that route to getting our work out – what would you say are the advantages? Disadvantages?

Honestly, I loved self-publishing, especially for a first novel.  My novel sat in my notebooks (yep, I hand wrote it!) and then later on my computer, for several years before deciding to publish.  I was so nervous about submitting it and getting rejected that I followed the ever-logical but not super effective strategy of “if I don’t submit it, they can’t reject it!”. Then I saw that a friend and travel client of mine worked at BookBaby, and I decided to reach out. I had a few advantages here, in that 1.) I knew someone at the company 2.) My dad is a writer and editor and so I was able to get free editing (thanks, Dad!) and 3.) My brother is an architect who’s also great with art and design, so I also got a free cover design (I’ll pay you all back when I make my millions haha!). But Bookbaby also offers those services at an additional fee (I can only speak for them, as I haven’t worked with other self-publishing services), so if I didn’t have access to those services through my family, I could have through them. 

Advantages: ease and speed of the process, without the anxiety of rejection letters. Plus, I got to be a part of the whole process, which was excellent. In addition, they have a bookshop where people can buy the book, the “royalties” are paid regularly, and it’s easy to see what you’ve made and what you’re owed. They also, at least with the package I got, made it available on online booksellers, both in digital and paperback. 

Disadvantages: Honestly, there weren’t any for me, but I guess if you’re looking for a big recognizable publishing name on your book, then there’s that. I wasn’t. And I don’t have an agent or anything like that, so I do the marketing myself (though they offer marketing packages too I believe). If you’re looking to skyrocket to the top of the best seller’s list, then self-publishing might not be for you (there are exceptions I’m sure). But if what you’re looking to do is publish your book, then I highly suggest it, especially if you’re in the Philly/South Jersey area, as they have a local site in South Jersey and it’s always nice to support local! 

I should add a caveat: while I said I didn’t have to worry about rejection, there are certain restrictions on what could be published. As with any publishing company, it’s their name, and they have the right to say “we don’t publish this kind of content”, and of course, they have to be mindful of legalities/trademarks/copyright laws, etc. But it’s not a rejection in terms of “this isn’t ‘good enough’ to have our name behind it’. It’s more of a “your book has to meet these parameters to publish with us.”

Mental Health Advocacy

 As someone who is involved in advocacy for mental health, what is your perception of the way that covid-19 restrictions and regulations might affect people during these times?   Are there things family members or employers might want to take into consideration that would help to make these times a bit less stressful for those with mental health issues.

I absolutely think that the COVID restrictions can affect mental health, and in numerous ways.  First, there are compounding factors, such as if someone has been laid off/furloughed, and is worried about paying bills, buying groceries, and providing for the family. And if someone already lives with anxiety or depression, this could certainly compound it further. There’s the concern over yourself and/or loved ones getting sick. There’s the lack of social connection for many (those that live alone, are used to being part of a busy work environment), and for others, there’s the opposite issue - not having any time to oneself because everyone is home all of the time. In some states, even outdoor spaces were shut down/restricted for a time, so there was limited opportunity to be outdoors (especially for those of us that live in the city), get fresh air and sunshine, be active, etc which can have an impact on health, both mental and physical.

I think the main thing for family members to take into consideration is that everyone is going to process and handle this situation differently. Their loved ones may not handle it the same way they are/would. In fact, depression and anxiety and most mental health conditions affect each individual a bit differently. Depression, for instance, could look like crying and extreme “sadness” (in quotes because it’s deeper than that). For others, it may look like exhaustion and emptiness/numbness. And there are plenty of other ways it might look. I think it’s easy for people to think “well I’m handling this, why can’t they?”. But each person’s experience is going to be different, even within the same family, and I think we need to acknowledge it. If the person needs to or wants to talk, listen without judgement. If it’s beyond what you think is your ability to help, encourage them to get help- many therapists are offering telemedicine right now, which might feel less intimidating than having to go to an office (especially in a pandemic). 

For employers - I honestly have a lot to say about this but I’ll try to be succinct (not my forte). If it’s at all possible to let your employees work remotely, have flexible hours, work when they have work to do but not have to be staring at a computer screen 9-5 ‘just in case’, do so. Actually, those of us in the chronic illness community have been pushing for this for years, without a pandemic. When your employees are in situations in which they feel best, or their least worst, it’s best for everyone.  I get there are some jobs that can’t offer this (i.e. your plumber isn’t going to be able your fix your leak from their home), but where you can, try to be creative. Also, make employees aware (by actions and words, and actually mean it) that their health is the most important and where possible, provide access to resources such as EAP programs.  It’s important that employees feel that if they feel unsafe, aren’t feeling well, or are struggling mentally, that they won’t be penalized for taking care of their health. 

What do you see as the connection between physical fitness and mental health? It seems that mental health professionals always recommend exercise but people with mental health conditions often have trouble managing to exercise. It feels like a catch 22.

To me, there’s so much connection between physical fitness and mental health, and I think it’s a two way street. Yes, exercise can help mental health. In the short term, if I’m anxious, going for a walk or moving my body in some way may help because 1.) endorphins, and 2.) it gets me out of my head a bit and into my physical body, and even if that takes my mind for a bit, it’s helpful. In the long term, establishing a habit of movement or exercise can serve as an anchor for tougher days - I know my morning routine, which includes movement/exercise, helps me to ground and come back to myself on tougher days b/c it’s familiar, and reliable. But, as you point out, that isn’t always feasible, at least not the way we tend to think of exercise. I suggest that we broaden the idea of what exercise is. It doesn’t have to be a 60 minute full body workout that gets us up to our target heart rate. It can be 10 minutes of moving your body, or even part of your body, in a way that you don’t normally. It could be dancing around your kitchen while you cook dinner or unload the groceries. It could be a 15 minute walk around the block, or in nature. It could be playing a game of tag or climbing a tree with your kids (do people still do these things in the days of technology? haha). It could be that when you’re watching TV, every time there’s a commercial on you get up and move around for a few minutes - either organized exercises, or just moving your body however it feels right. If mobility is limited, it could be moving the parts of the body which you feel most comfortable moving.  I think the key is finding movement that feels good, or at least not terrible, to you. I also think it’s important to focus on movement as a benefit for the body and mind, and not either a punishment/something you “have to do” or as a bargaining tool (if I do this exercise I can have dessert tonight/binge that show/etc).  Also, know that it’s ok to give yourself a break - illness can be unpredictable, and even with the best intentions, you may know that your body and brain would benefit more from rest than forcing yourself to exercise/be active on a particular day. 

Finally, I might suggest keeping a journal of how you feel when you move/exercise. It doesn’t have to be anything formal. But after you do different types of movement/exercise, maybe right down how you feel - physically, mentally, emotionally - as well as how you feel about that exercise. As a bonus, it serves as a log of different exercise ideas, so if you’re feeling stuck, you can reference it and maybe get some ideas for movement you can do that doesn’t feel like as much of a chore. 

As someone who posts about mental health and has been published in various journals, what areas of mental health do you see as needing and/or welcoming new writers?  Can you recommend any specific journals or forums that a new writer might want to try?

Honestly, all topics across mental health need new writers. We’ve made progress, but stigma is still a rampant issue, and there are so many who are (completely understandably) afraid to share their story, who feel alone in what they live with. So honestly, I think any areas in which you can write and share your story as well. That said, I definitely think that we can look at intersectionality, in terms of mental health/mental illness and race, culture, sexual orientation, gender, religious background, and I’m sure l’m missing some areas. I’m a heterosexual white woman that’s “spiritual/faith based but not strictly part of a particular religion” living in the northeast US, and while it’s great that I share my story and can connect with others on the topic of mental health, I can’t imagine my story speaks fully to people that aren’t this specific combination of identifiers (probably not the right word but I’m struggling to think of the right one).  While it might help others feel less alone in their illness, people need to hear from people with their similar experiences, perspectives, cultures, communities, identities - basically, people who experience life with mental illness more like they do. 

Also, to tie this back into yoga, I think  it needs to be addressed big time in the yoga and wellness community. I wrote a few weeks back about the toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing of “Love and light and good vibes only” that’s so prevalent in this community. And yet so many people come to yoga and wellness, as I did, in times of struggle. I know if I’d gone into my first yoga class, at a really difficult point in my life, and was basically told to just look on the bright side, I never would have gone back. So I think  it’s super important as instructors to share our humanness, our struggles. I don’t mean in class as a teacher, but in the days of social media and blogging and such, it’s certainly possible to weave your story into your posts to show this side of your journey as well. 

As for where to publish, I’ve been in advocacy for a while, so I’m not sure in terms of new writers, but I can share where I have been published in hopes that it maybe offers some options - I’ve been published on/in The Mighty, No Stigmas, and WTFix over the past couple of years. The journal I’ve probably been published in most is Wordgathering, which is A Journal of Disability Poetry and Literature.  I’ve had my own work published there, but I’ve also published book reviews of other writers’ work, as well as interviewed fellow writers. 

Travel

Even though I know international travel is not recommended, some of us just need to get away. Are there still countries that are safe to visit and that will allow American tourists in?  Is there a list somewhere that you could refer me to?  

This is changing almost daily, and I’m going to give the disclaimer that I’m not traveling at the moment or booking travel right now because I don’t feel it aligns with my business ethics, so this is for information but not recommendation. I am also going to state the obvious that these require you to get on a plane, and again, I’m not recommending that. With that out of the way,  I believe some Caribbean nations and Mexico, at the time of this post, are allowing Americans. Also, Albania, North Macedonia, and Tanzania at last check. However, to my knowledge none of the last three have a nonstop flight, and each country’s allowances for layovers/connections might be different. The best bet is to check with the State Department website (also gives Visa and entry/exit requirements, and more), as well as with the individual US embassies and Consulates for the country. Here’s the link for International Travel for the state department, and within it, there are additional links and information. I also believe that some countries are requiring a negative COVID test within a certain time frame of arrival in order to enter. https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/international-travel.html

 Given the restrictions on international travel due to covid-19, what are some of your recommendations for places to travel within the United States that might not be subject to much crowding?

Even domestic travel has been tricky, given the changing restrictions and quarantine requirements, and some of it depends on where you live - i.e. here in Philadelphia, we have quarantine requirements for, at the moment, 34 states  (that’ll probably change by the time this is posted). Each state has different requirements, and even within that it changes frequently, so I’m leery to recommend any place, since it could end up on the quarantine list for your state  tomorrow! Honestly, I’d suggest something like camping (though I do not recommend places with shared bathrooms/showers!), or visiting friends/family where you know they’ve been staying safe and can stay with them - like a staycation, but at a trusted friend or family member’s house that’s in an area not on your state’s quarantine list. 

More questions? Ask away. I’m always happy to talk about my work in all of these areas!